"Four bumps on your Head"

During a weekend of unbeatable weather and good times with good friends in from out of town, we saw one thing that could have been absolutely terrible. The Cardinals had lost to the Padres yesterday, and we had killed some time at Broadway Oyster Bar before heading back to the Metrolink to go home. At the game there was a whole section of people wearing 4H Club t-shirts, and we were curious about what the 4 "H's" stood for but were still stumped after asking a few members who did not know. We were now standing on the platform for the westbound train, talking to some middle-aged folks who were guessing words with H to try to help us, and a few drunk twentysomethings wearing the shirts had just come down the steps to the eastbound platform (across two sets of tracks). These guys were rowdy, and talking shit for who-knows-what, yelling across to some other Cards fans on our side and trying to get people angry. Zo walks down toward where this is going on, and for fun asks what the 4 H's stand for: "The four bumps I'm gonna give you on your Head" was the answer he got. Then one of them runs up the stairs, across and down to the stairs on our side, and gets in the face of a man wearing a Cardinals jersey (I thought the 4H people at the game were rooting for the Cards, but either way this seemed completely unnecessary). We see the train coming, and everyone on the platform is hoping that it will pull up, and everyone will get on, and the 4H guy will just go back to the other side. But instead, with no warning, no provocation, no anything, Mr. 4H slaps--yes, slaps!--the Cards jersey guy on the face. One of Cardinals friends sort of lunges between them and locks up, grappling style, with 4H, right near the edge of the platform, with the train still rolling up. The two men fall down onto the tracks, the train horn blows, and everyone there is gasping in shock. They both end up getting back up onto the platform, but one has lost his sunglasses on the track so he jumps back down onto the track to retrieve them while the train is still moving slowly towards him! We could not believe the stupidity and lack of judgement these two had, for no apparent reason other than they'd been drinking and exchanged some words, probably harmless words at that. Thankfully nobody was hurt, but this story will still go in the books as one of the closest calls I've seen.